Sydney SCtory #2: Dr. Durr (w/ TR haikus!) 1.0

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Prologue

It was raining on Bondi Beach.

Tourists hunched under ponchos, selfie sticks protruding like Nazgul erections. The sand was mud; the mud was water; the water was salt; the salt was nerd tears.

A few blocks away, nineteen locals ducked off the main road, climbed a narrow flight of stairs, and caught their collective breath. “It is veritably raining,” they said in unison. “Very different.”

It had not rained in Sydney for several years.

The locals were come to lock wits and try mettles at the 2018 Good Games Bondi Junction Store Championship. But first, they needed to dry off. They stripped naked and rubbed each other with their house-themed bath towels.

“We Do Not Soap,” bragged one towel.

“I’m Showered, I’m Scented, I’m Smokin’,” read another.

The players lounged in the cool, air-conditioned den, while servants brought them grapes and braised lamb haunches.

One of the players was Bretton. He is not our hero, nor is he our villain. He is a competitor, and no more.

Bretton had thrown his Drowned God deck into a bonfire. He had fed his Night’s Watch Crossing deck to a great white shark. He had launched his direwolves deck on a nuclear-powered, ambassadorial rocket bound for distant galaxies. Those decks were gone now.

So, that wet Sydney morning before the 2018 Good Games Bondi Junction Store Championship, Brett built a boring House Targaryen deck with the Fealty agenda.

Brett was pondering, But what is rain? while the jousters chatted. Tom was back from fighting the Visigoths in the south of France. Nail was flipping a coin 100 times to choose between two plots: “Heads. Tails. Tails. Heads.”

Finally, the games began.

I. Roy Lai, the Dire Lion, Lannister HRD Small Council Chamber

“Where are my big guys?”
Roy, the Dire Lion, wept.
“Ah, there Cersei lies!”

But Brett had prepared
Mirri’s Operating Room
For her, golden-haired.

Win, 1-0

II. Alisdair “Combo Lord” Macdonald, Targaryen Crossing

Al had a cancel
But Drogon was Drac’d when Brett
Cancelled the cancel.

“He thinks I’ll Coppers,”
Brett thought on turn two. “I’ll March.”
Woe! Risky Riddlers!

Win, 2-0

III. Adem Kolar, the Stocky Bosnian, Martell Banner of the Wolf

Harrenhal (GoH) stood tall
But fell when Viserys came.
“FroSo musn’t fall.”

...Adem craves FroSo.
But Flea Butt and Plaza reign.
Adem feels so low.

Win, 3-0

IV. Michael “Unluckiest Thrones Player in the World” Parris nee Harris, NW HRD White Tree

Brett made a mistake.
Marched was the great Khal Drogo.
Such pain, such heartache.

The tilt went to time.
Tie power, tie cards, and so
Last dom tore the tie.

Loss, 3-1

Top 4, Charles “The Equalizer” Cheng, Tyrell Summer

Glut of 1-strength knights.
Song of Summer versus Blood?
Wait a turn to fight.

Blood is flipped and then:
Mace left in his Hightower.
Sad. Lonely. Amen.

Win, on to the Final Table

Final Table, Michael “Unluckiest Thrones Player in the World” Parris nee Harris, Redux

For two long hours
They battled. Ten plots were flipped.
No fifteenth power.

Here comes Doctor Durr.
The rangers need medicine.
Mirri Mass Murder.

Win.

Hope you liked the poems.
When I write tourney reports
My mind ever roams.

Props to the players.
Bless their humor, nerve, and skill.
Slops to the “poet.”