I'm So Tired: A GenCon Tale, part 1 1.0

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“I’m So Tired”: A GenCon Tale Part 1: The Games Where You Only Face One Person at a Time

Konichiwa, Children of Thrones!

Ignore the deck list for a moment. It’s Lanni-Kraken. It doesn’t matter.

I’m using this as a space to publish a (captivating, epic, I hope!) tournament report for your pleasure. Read on for encounters with titans of the game, including a match with 2016 GenCon Joust Champ Chris Schoenthal. Adventures will be had! Nerds will sweat! I will nearly perish from exhaustion! Away we go!

Our story begins two weeks before GenCon, in the height of summer stock theater season in Portsmouth, NH. I was deep in the throes of designing the lighting in a five-day turnaround for “American Idiot,” which was to be followed--and run concurrently with-- “Rent,” which was to run concurrently with “101 Dalmations.” In short, I was working from 6am to midnight every day in a desperate attempt to point lights at actors.

Well, friends, it ain’t so easy to get games in on that schedule. I was totally unable to play our favorite cardboard-flipper. Sad times in Skagos.

Fast forward to the day before Joust. I finished my work for the summer (for this relief, MUCH THANKS) at 2pm. My friends and I were on the road by 3:30pm. And so began the long drive from the NH Seacoast to Indianapolis. For the geographically disinclined, we left the northeast tip of the United States and drove a third of the way across the country. We arrived at our hotel at 10am, tired and hungry. My legs hurt. Humans with a 36-inch inseam aren’t meant to be in a Honda Civic for 18 straight hours. It is known.

Oh, and there was the small matter of, um, yeah, I didn’t have a deck built, and we needed to get to the Con fast so my friends could make it to a scheduled panel.

After checking in at the hotel (super early, thank goodness) and cramming some cold pasta down my gullet, I started making my deck. At this point, my friend ordered an uber to take us downtown. By the time I had laid out the main Lannister characters, we had our timer: “The uber will be here in 8 minutes.” Oh baby. Build faster, Brett. I asked my friend to take a video of me constructing this deck. He filmed for a few seconds, but I realized that talking would slow me down, so it would be a pretty boring video. Alas, I have two eyewitnesses. My joust deck was built in five minutes flat.

The deck was as straightforward as they come. I wanted to play with a small board and leverage Captain’s Daughter and First Snow. I had only ever played a handful of games with Lanni main house, but I knew what my favorite Krakens could do. This way, I could play what is quite clearly the strongest house in the meta while honoring those who do not garden. I sleeved it up (with some assistance!), grabbed a bunch of possible replacement cards in case I changed my mind on the way over, and we piled in our crowdsourced taxi.

I ran into everybody’s favorite Fitches immediately. Great to see friendly faces in a sea of geeks. But I still needed to track down Geoff from NH, who was selling me his joust ticket. With some frantic facebook messaging, preceded by a frantic installation of facebook messenger, I located him in the midst of the gigantic vendor hall. I consider this my greatest achievement of the weekend. Maybe ever. Thanks, Geoff!

I had a brief pow-wow about my deck with Lauren. I think I said something like, “Hey I’m really tired, but I want a third milk, do we have to get decklists or huh?” She said something that made sense, like, “I wouldn’t cut any of these cards. Maybe cut one Queen’s Assassin, then cut another for a third Fishmonger to help your chances of getting a Tywin setup.” I’m sure I mumbled something affirmative, like, “Yrrm.” Then I cut a Treachery for a Milk. I couldn’t even tell you why. I think Treachery was just on top of whatever pile of cards I had in front of me.

Dennis, Chris Lavin, The Fitch Family, and I chatted while we waited for things to boot up, which was longer than anticipated. Things started about 30 minutes late? Going on no sleep, it felt like forever. Finally, seatings were posted.

As usual, nicknames are totally made up as I write this.

ROUND 1 - Patrick “The Phantom” Reynolds

You see, pairings weren’t posted. Seating was. So 250 or so people played musical chairs for like 25 minutes while they told us when the lunch break would be over and over again. This was the most fun. I chatted with Pat for a few minutes, at least, but then he was gone. His destiny was elsewhere.

Quick aside: to all of the people I told I was tired. I’m sorry, I realize I probably said this about 4 billion times. It was, at moments, the only thought my brain was capable of. Just a running refrain of “I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired.” I would start to say something really intelligent and insightful about the game, and the words, “I’m tired” would just vomit forth.

ROUND 1 REDUX - Jamie W., Night’s Watch/Lion

I got a bit of an adrenaline boost as things started, so that was a sick buzz. Jamie set up a White Tree and three weenies, so I was expecting a first turn Naval. I had Tyrion, Kingsroad, chud, I think. Opened First Snow, which was the right call. I think he went for Building Orders? He could only field Mance as a Snow-proof character. Tywin won a straight up military brawl between the two of them. Jamie’s milk on Tywin and his White Tree slowed me down, but he was never able to fully recover from that first turn. This was a snowball-type game that Valar might have helped equalize. W, 1-0

Aside: I gave all of my opponents a chibi-style Stark house card. My girlfriend is a studio artist and she’s in the process of designing a sickeningly cute card for every house. We’re releasing one every month at our tournaments in Portsmouth, so be sure to come to one if you’re in the neighborhood!

ROUND 2 - Ser Gregory Atkinson, Night’s Watch/Lion

When I saw this pairing I think I shouted something embarassing like “OH BABY GREG ATKINSON!” I’ve long admired Greg’s deckbuilding skill. There is nothing I appreciate more than creativity in deckbuilding, something he has in spades. Oh, and he’s a great player.

So I had big huge sparkly anime eyes when I sat across from him and I think I scared him a little. I said something like, “Just wanna say that wow that Rhaenys’ Hill deck and it’s really great because for so long to get to play against you I’m so excited and I’m tired.”

Greg setup Arry, chud, White Tree. I lived the dream of Tywin, chud, fiefdom. I believe I opened Calling, thinking I either had decent gold and initiative, or at least enough to drop a chud if he Navaled. He didn’t, because I won initiative (though I can’t remember what he did throw). I went first, fearing milk on Tywin, even if it meant he got an extra to spend from his tree. I was happy to trade military challenges with him. He lost a reducer, I lost a dupe on Tywin rather than either of two reducers. “Really?! Wow,” Greg said. I think he knew it was the right play, but one that he wasn’t expecting me to make. Maybe he was trying to persuade me reconsider...champ level mind games! My mission for the first three turns was to get bodies on the board and set up a First Snow, which I felt would be my one opportunity to cement the game. Neither of us drew any economy at all, and he milked Tywin turn two, so the choke was strong. A turn two Captain’s Daughter stuck around for quite a while. I know I pulled a Gregor for intrigue claim, and I think it’s a credit to the Daughter. When I was ready for First Snow, I had a slight power lead, maybe 7-4 or so, with the daughter and a Burned Men ready to go. During and post- Snow, I could win power, defend power, and win dom each turn until I hit 15.

We chatted about second edition a bit, lamenting the fact that the cardpool doesn’t quite lend itself to much in the way of creative deckbuilding at the moment (see my last few tournament reports). It was a great honor to meet Greg and play some Thrones with him.

W, 2-0

ROUND 3 - Chris “The Champ” Schoenthal, Lannister/Dragon

I was in a bit of a stupor at this point. Somehow, two rounds had taken three hours, and my last game had been an intense one. “Hi Chris Schoenthal. You’re a name, I’ve heard of you. SoCal, right? God, I’m hungry man. Are you hungry?” “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry. Lunch break after this one, though.” Chris is quite even-keeled. Evidently, that helps at major tournaments. I got to watch some of his games in the cut, and he is a consummate player and a nice guy. He also has amazing hats. Congrats again!

He set up duped Tywin, Rose Road, reducer. Oy vey. I had Tywin, reducer at least. At some point in turns one or two, I made my first (and only big, I think), mistake of the day. I had Captain’s Daughter and he played a Burned Men as his third character. I was looking at the gold available to both of us and thinking I could Captain’s away the Burned Men, kill a chud of his with claim, and March his Tywin to the Wall. I just, you know, forgot that Tywin had a dupe. So that was a major misplay that might not have cost me the game then and there, but was a major tempo hit, especially when Chris is running the single best character to hit with Daughter in Madame M. M. Durr M.D. Things slipped away after that, culminating a couple turns later in a 20+ STR military challenge to put my Tywin to the Sword. Well done!

L, 2-1

LUNCH BREAK

I had an earth-shattering, soul-filling pair of pieces of cheese pizza that weren’t that good, but were also the best things I have ever tasted.

I think it was around this time that I met “Wamma and Keb,” who journeyed all the way from the England. I’m in two plays coming up that require an English accent (Septimus in “Arcadia” and Pip in “Great Expectations”!) so I asked all kinds of questions about how pronounce things like Derbyshire (DAH-buh-shuh) and slander (SLAHN-duh not SLAN-deh). We laughed and fooled around and had a grand old time. Really enjoyed meeting these two humans!

ROUND 4 - Brett “Fuck Your Suffixes, Bretton” Pidde, Night’s Watch/Wolf

Brett was a really nice guy who would never say that about my name. He went Building Orders to fetch the Wall, but couldn’t afford to play it turn one and still have characters on the board. Then I pulled it for intrigue claim. Ouch. But he topdecked another one! Phew. This was the first game that I had an unmilked Tywin firing for more than one turn. I was simply able to leverage my resources and make each round a win for me. By the time he had Aemon, the Wall, a Ranging Party et. al. on the board, it was too late.

I exhausted all of my knowledge of South Dakota in a conversation about Brett’s home state. Can’t wait to see those Badlands someday! Also, Brett, if you’re reading this, you have great hair, bud.

W, 3-1

ROUND 5 - Brian “First in First Names” Fred, Lannister/Dragon

I like to think that I’m a pretty convivial player. I love seeing where people are from, what their favorite houses are. Having an enjoyable playing experience is more important to me than winning. Which is why it shocked me when, as we’re selecting our first plots, the thought running through my head was, “I’m going to fucking Naval the shit out of this poor bastard.” Brian flipped Pentoshi. At the end of round 1 he discarded 4 cards to reserve, I think. From there, all I had to do was not screw it up. Brian is a local Indianapolis guy who was a great sport.

W, 4-1

ROUND 6 - Brad “YEEZUS” Eier, Greyjoy/Dragon I was happy to say “thanks” to a writer of hilarious tournament reports, the one and only YEEZUS. Maybe he’ll do a write up of his experiences and we can compare notes!

Greyjoy/Dragon is one of my favorite decks, just because it can be super Shagga-y if it gets rolling. Seastone and double Mirri triggers? Disgusting. But yeah, I know a few things about it:

Greyjoy/Dragon loves first turn gold to get things rolling, but it’s hard to make room for 5-gold plots that miss Naval, especially because you need Pentoshi to play Mirri. If you’re running Fishwhiskers (a possibility) you aren’t running Calm. The best opener for that deck is Snowed Under with a Kingsroad or Mapman. Then you can go second, dodge milks, and figure out if you can play for a first-turn kill.

In this instance, after setup, I was looking at a board with no big characters and no initiative boosts on his side. I didn’t have a Tywin to make Naval look more attractive, so he wouldn’t be counting on it. Here we go again. I opened Naval and hit Noble. No Balon this turn, bud. Brad was able to recover a little better than Brian had, eventually getting a Mirri on the board to do work and kill my Mountain. But by that time, I had been setting up a First Snow death blow for a couple turns, and I Marched Dr. Durr to the wall.

W, 5-1

A Note on Naval: I think knowing how to play with/around this plot is one of the most important factors in the current meta. It’s certainly the swingiest card. I don’t think I missed with a Naval, nor was I hit badly with one throughout my joust matches, and that was worth a couple of wins for sure. It helped that in a big tournament like this, my opponents weren’t aware that I was running it.

And that concluded day one of swiss! Six rounds of swiss took a mere nine hours. I made the graduated cut, somewhere around 18th in the standings. I could come back the next day after some sleep and play for the coveted acrylic Iron Throne First Player token! Boston was well represented, with Britt and Tim in day two. Lauren barely missed out on strength of schedule, huge bummer.

That night, I took out my contact lenses after 42 hours of consecutive use. For those of you don’t understand this glorious occasion, imagine having a really sweaty, crusty t-shirt on and it’s clinging to your body and making you miserable, and then you get to take it off, and you’re instantly clean. It’s like that, but on your eyeballs.

At Britt’s behest, I slept that night, but not too much, since I apparently play better when I’m exhausted. In actuality, I was so tired I was having difficulty falling asleep, like my body was taking a while to wind down from 7000 RPM or something. Ah well.

I snuck in a bit of shopping the next morning, including a purchase of box organizer inserts for AGOT from Broken Token. Highly recommended, though do note that you need two to fit the current cardpool with dividers and room to grow.

ROUND 7 - Kyle “CheruBAMF” Vancil, Lannister/Dragon

Kyle and I were using the same sweet custom art, Balerion-about-to-burn-Harrenhal playmat. So we immediately had the best-looking play surface at GenCon. Why don’t we get an acrylic Iron Throne Token for that, huh? Bull.

I was again feeling like Naval was a strong play, and hit Noble with it. I didn’t have a great start otherwise, while he was able to stabilize and play Tyrion and Tywin by turn two. I had a Tyrion of my own and the Mountain. It was on turn three that I turned the game. Kyle was going first and looking okay, but he spent all of his gold. I played milk on Tyrion to keep him at 0 gold, I ate a military challenge on my chud, then swung back. Intrigue challenge for two more gold, Burned Men ambush in, 12 STR military challenge, executed 6 STR Tywin at the chopping block. Needed three pieces to pull that kill off, but it worked well! I rolled from there.

W, 6-1

I knew that I needed to win one of the next two games to make top 16 and have a chance at the cut.

ROUND 8 - Josh "Double Play" Johnson, Lannister/Wolf

Well, I hadn’t been steamrolled yet, so I was due. I couldn’t find a body better than Ilyn Payne, while he was off to the races with Tywin. A turn one Put on my Ilyn left me with nothing by teensy characters. I threw Uncle Pennybags (with no economy to speak of) to search for answers, and he threw Wardens of the West. I mean, when that happens, there’s not much you can do. That’s like a Naval on a Pentoshi, but for card draw. Never quite stood a chance in this one.

We laughed about my misfortunes a bit, and chatted about the lack of a meta near Josh. He needs people to play with! If you’re out there and live in northwestern Pennsylvania (I think?) seek out Josh! Also, kudos to Josh for making the top cut in Star Wars and Thrones!

L, 6-2

ROUND 9 - Tom "Jolly" Capor, Greyjoy Stag

This was it. Needed to take it down to have a chance at the cut. This would be the tightest game of joust that I played.

I had Tyrion and a chud and a Kingsroad on setup, so I opened Naval. I didn’t have any big characters in hand, and could play something decent with the Kingsroad if I drew one. I hit Noble again. The first few turns were all me. I double-kingsroaded for Ilyn Payne to keep the pressure on. Tom had plenty of saves, though, including one for my Tears on Balon. I was within one save of wiping his board for three rounds. He also was relying on topdecks, with no hand. However, Tom’s kneel kept me from getting too far ahead. The game turned sharply in turn four, when Tom played a couple of big bodies, and I had nothing to spend gold on. I think I left 10 gold unspent at the end of that turn. I couldn’t find any bigs, only dupes for Tyrion and Asha. And I needed an answer for Balon, either a Milk or a Hound or another Tears. This is where a plot choice probably cost me the game. I had something like four reducers, Burned Men, Asha, and Tyrion to his Mel, Balon, Asha, and a chud. I thought Tom would Wildfire, so I was thinking Marched would win initiative, keep him off first player, and force him to lose Mel to my chud. I believe I should have played Counting Coppers there for sure. Drawing an answer a turn earlier may have made the difference. As it was, I topdecked a pair of limited cards. A bit of tricky Nightmares use kept me in it until plot 7 I believe, but I couldn’t reverse my fortunes.

Hurt a bit to lose this one, but Tom was an awesome opponent, and we agreed that it was an excellent game of Game of Thrones.

L, 6-3

I finished somewhere in the 20’s in the standings. Not too shabby, all things considered.

I had huge adrenaline crash after this loss. It was like my legs and brain didn’t want to work anymore. I just sat against a wall and closed my eyes for a while. Tournament endurance is a thing! I highly recommend preparing for events with water and snacks and sleep.

Went to see my buddy perform in an improv show that night, so that was fun. Check out “Knights of the Arcade” if you ever get a chance. They’re hilarious!

Quick-hit thoughts on the deck: -Captain’s Daughter was great all day. Not sure how she is out of Greyjoy yet, but Lannister can afford her.

-Queen’s Assassin was unexpectedly great, but tricky to use

-Lannister is certainly straightforward. I think skill with Lannister comes in plot selection and planning. OR having shuffling skills to start with Tywin every setup.

-I think Summons should be a Confiscation, as sad as it makes me

No props and slops at the moment. You’ll have to read on to part 2: Where You Face Three Other Trolls at Once!